那年夏天,我帶著失落的心情∼〜~
一個人獨自搭火車來到這個地方
在火車裡,一個多小時的車程。
我不斷的回想那陣子發生的事,直到來到這海岸。
我一個人靜靜的坐在沙灘上,放眼望去∼〜~
有藍天、有大海、還有幾位浪友。
我記得那天我對主說:我厭棄祢了!
我不想再來到你的面前、我不想再進入祢的殿中!
這些負面情緒的話,波濤洶湧的從我口中和心中宣洩而出。
就這樣,我不知覺得流淚了∼〜~
過了一陣子,心平靜了;我起身,走向大海。
下海、上岸、下海、上岸
原本情筐外裡、風平浪靜的天氣∼〜~
不知何時,忽然波濤洶湧、烏雲密佈
也許之前已經游太久,水性不錯的我,漸漸的也開始吃不消
這感覺就像人類無法勝過大自然的力量
我不好意思向我付的人求救
我一個人,沒有穿著任何的防護衣或是綁著浪板。
一個人,隨著大海隨波逐沉
我的身體開始無法動作,也一直不斷的喝進越來越多的海水。
在此刻,我想起彼得在海面上行走的故事。
但我因著倔強,不想像祂呼求。
直到我真的無法再靠自己任何的方法時,我講了跟彼得一樣的話。
沒想到,風這樣停了“浪也這樣小了。
也許你會不相信
但這樣活生生的事就發生在我的身上。
我隨著海浪被衝到岸上,祂告訴我∼〜~孩子,我還要用你!
這就像區牧師所講的∼〜~想死都很難!
我大口大口的在岸邊喘著氣,第一次感覺到呼吸真好。
回想起剛剛發生的事,為何旁邊的人卻好像沒發生過大風、大浪的樣子。
仰著天∼〜~我禱告、我悔改。
因為我知道我父神未曾離開過我,祂仍然在我身旁陪伴著我。
祂仍然是愛我的
星期三, 10月 27, 2004
星期一, 10月 25, 2004
星期一, 10月 18, 2004
I'm going to be the "Key Person" in this University!!
自從我順從神的帶領,我決定自己留在救恩a裡。
我越來越相信,神把我放在NTUA和救恩a裡,有他的旨意。
這次的迎新,整體而言都很不錯∼〜~
只有在最後的夜遊裝神弄鬼,讓我覺得是個遺憾。
由於這場地勢屬於YWCA的營地,第二天早上我在那地行走禱告。
求神饒恕我們在這裡因著無知,所犯下的過錯。
走完了一圈,我找個地方與神親近。
當時有個奇怪的感覺∼〜~
直到今天早上去工作的路上,我才看見。
我看見一個畫面,是我在一個為活動在討論的畫面。
我不知道我在那畫面裡的身份,我只知道我同學在討論。
但神很清楚的讓我看見我是整個討論的主軸。
此時畫面一轉,我看到我在晚會時跟大家分享夜遊的感想。
而內容卻像是每週六晚上七點∼〜~九點的情境。
我不知道為何我眼前出現這畫面∼〜~
但有跟聲音說∼〜~你還有兩年可以去完成這件事。
天丫,真的是Oh. My God!!
我在公車上皮皮剉∼〜~而出了一身汗
這種事我丫根的都沒有過,難道這是我將來要做的嗎?
目前我才剛開始一對一,卻見到這是。
我想這是對我來講是一種激勵吧!
神挑戰我,我要好好的裝備自己、擴張自己的境界。
我將這是拿到祂面前,求祂時候到的時候舊跟摩西一樣的帶領我。
好叫我能帶領他們出黑暗入光明。進入那永生的國度裡去∼
我越來越相信,神把我放在NTUA和救恩a裡,有他的旨意。
這次的迎新,整體而言都很不錯∼〜~
只有在最後的夜遊裝神弄鬼,讓我覺得是個遺憾。
由於這場地勢屬於YWCA的營地,第二天早上我在那地行走禱告。
求神饒恕我們在這裡因著無知,所犯下的過錯。
走完了一圈,我找個地方與神親近。
當時有個奇怪的感覺∼〜~
直到今天早上去工作的路上,我才看見。
我看見一個畫面,是我在一個為活動在討論的畫面。
我不知道我在那畫面裡的身份,我只知道我同學在討論。
但神很清楚的讓我看見我是整個討論的主軸。
此時畫面一轉,我看到我在晚會時跟大家分享夜遊的感想。
而內容卻像是每週六晚上七點∼〜~九點的情境。
我不知道為何我眼前出現這畫面∼〜~
但有跟聲音說∼〜~你還有兩年可以去完成這件事。
天丫,真的是Oh. My God!!
我在公車上皮皮剉∼〜~而出了一身汗
這種事我丫根的都沒有過,難道這是我將來要做的嗎?
目前我才剛開始一對一,卻見到這是。
我想這是對我來講是一種激勵吧!
神挑戰我,我要好好的裝備自己、擴張自己的境界。
我將這是拿到祂面前,求祂時候到的時候舊跟摩西一樣的帶領我。
好叫我能帶領他們出黑暗入光明。進入那永生的國度裡去∼
星期六, 10月 09, 2004
今天,十月九號。
在今天,我終於知道這幾天心情為何是這樣子。
這幾天真的是很脆弱,無時無刻都會有想哭的感覺。
最剛開始我以為是工作不順利,而導致自己心情低落。
結果當我寫玩日記心情便好了後還是一樣。
今天在小組敬拜時我流下了淚水,我想可能是想家的關係吧?
還是不知道,只是猜測中∼〜~
今天我們第一小家人多,於是阿拉叫我去別的小家。
頓時,我有點難過。
不知道為啥麼,我的眼眶就有點溼溼的。
想到前幾天阿拉寄給我的信
之後,阿拉跟大家說1106的事情。
當大家為我們禱告時,我的心很亂。
因為禮拜四晚上的關係吧!
到崇拜時,我的眼睛一直很不爭氣。
一直滴下討厭的東西,害我之後有點不太愛裡小比。
慢慢的,我才知道到底是怎麼一回事。
原來我不是工作不順利、想家或是聚會時間。
大家要分殖出去而我留下來,有一種被棄絕的感覺。
好像是留在一個陌生的地方沒人要似的
我知道這意念不好,不是出自神的。
於是在整個聚會中我不住的向神禱告,因為我也只能向祂說。
時間過那麼久,想不到這東西還在我的心底。
我看見小時候因為自己調皮被媽媽丟在家裡的情況
我看見以前因為跟家人不和被丟到深山裡唸書的時光
我看見我一個人在週末孤單的窩在宿舍和走在街頭的樣子
就這樣我哭了兩個多小時,直到結束才收起眼淚跟大家吃飯。
沒想到現在跟小花在一起,我還在哭∼〜~
吼∼〜~哭是哭怎樣,哭心酸的喔!
現在我是被釋放,還是在心酸。
我也不知道,還是一直在哭∼〜~
也許哭完後痲痹了就OK了吧!
這幾天真的是很脆弱,無時無刻都會有想哭的感覺。
最剛開始我以為是工作不順利,而導致自己心情低落。
結果當我寫玩日記心情便好了後還是一樣。
今天在小組敬拜時我流下了淚水,我想可能是想家的關係吧?
還是不知道,只是猜測中∼〜~
今天我們第一小家人多,於是阿拉叫我去別的小家。
頓時,我有點難過。
不知道為啥麼,我的眼眶就有點溼溼的。
想到前幾天阿拉寄給我的信
之後,阿拉跟大家說1106的事情。
當大家為我們禱告時,我的心很亂。
因為禮拜四晚上的關係吧!
到崇拜時,我的眼睛一直很不爭氣。
一直滴下討厭的東西,害我之後有點不太愛裡小比。
慢慢的,我才知道到底是怎麼一回事。
原來我不是工作不順利、想家或是聚會時間。
大家要分殖出去而我留下來,有一種被棄絕的感覺。
好像是留在一個陌生的地方沒人要似的
我知道這意念不好,不是出自神的。
於是在整個聚會中我不住的向神禱告,因為我也只能向祂說。
時間過那麼久,想不到這東西還在我的心底。
我看見小時候因為自己調皮被媽媽丟在家裡的情況
我看見以前因為跟家人不和被丟到深山裡唸書的時光
我看見我一個人在週末孤單的窩在宿舍和走在街頭的樣子
就這樣我哭了兩個多小時,直到結束才收起眼淚跟大家吃飯。
沒想到現在跟小花在一起,我還在哭∼〜~
吼∼〜~哭是哭怎樣,哭心酸的喔!
現在我是被釋放,還是在心酸。
我也不知道,還是一直在哭∼〜~
也許哭完後痲痹了就OK了吧!
星期六, 10月 02, 2004
Hi Little Flower! This is Michael.
How are you doing? Thank you for sending me an email, and I apologize
for taking so long to reply. I've been very busy with school, church,
and friends. I'm sure you are very busy as well.
Right now it seems like I don't have enough time. I am struggling to
catch up in school, and my first two exams are next week. I have not
spent that much time on schoolwork, and for the most part, do not
understand what my professors are talking about. If you can, please
pray for me, that I will remember that studying is for God.
As for church, I really enjoy it this semester and have been blessed
tremendously. I feel like I've learned already a year's worth in only
a month. I can really see God working, as He has overflowed His love
into my life. My quiet times have been good lately, as I've started
to do it with two guys in my small group. It is so encouraging to
hear each of them share about what they have learned. I have learned
that for revivial to come to this campus, we need to develop deep
relationships with those around us. I have been very intentional in
reaching out to ppl this year and have had the opportunity to bring
several ppl to church. God is teaching me to have a heart for other
people, to put their needs over my own. It is very tough, but slowly,
I am changing.
I have been very tired this semester, but I know that God's strength
is better than sleep. His work must be done, and I am willing to
sacrifice sleep for it. Please pray for several of my friends: their
names are John, Prakas, Jed, and Chris. Each of them are different in
their walks with God, but I have a burden for each of them. They are
in my life, and I have the privelege to show them Christ's love.
As for myself, you can pray for rest. In order to have a good quiet
time, I must sleep early the night before. Please pray that I will
rely on God's strength to fight against lust, b/c a lot of times I
will try myself. Please also pray that God will continue to reveal
Himself to me in new ways everyday.
Thanks for your prayers, Yi-feng. Please let me know how you are doing.
The God that we serve is a great God!
I love you!!! Please let me know how you are doing.
In Christ,
Michael (=
P.S. It is possible that I will return to Taiwan next summer!! But I
am not positive yet.
for taking so long to reply. I've been very busy with school, church,
and friends. I'm sure you are very busy as well.
Right now it seems like I don't have enough time. I am struggling to
catch up in school, and my first two exams are next week. I have not
spent that much time on schoolwork, and for the most part, do not
understand what my professors are talking about. If you can, please
pray for me, that I will remember that studying is for God.
As for church, I really enjoy it this semester and have been blessed
tremendously. I feel like I've learned already a year's worth in only
a month. I can really see God working, as He has overflowed His love
into my life. My quiet times have been good lately, as I've started
to do it with two guys in my small group. It is so encouraging to
hear each of them share about what they have learned. I have learned
that for revivial to come to this campus, we need to develop deep
relationships with those around us. I have been very intentional in
reaching out to ppl this year and have had the opportunity to bring
several ppl to church. God is teaching me to have a heart for other
people, to put their needs over my own. It is very tough, but slowly,
I am changing.
I have been very tired this semester, but I know that God's strength
is better than sleep. His work must be done, and I am willing to
sacrifice sleep for it. Please pray for several of my friends: their
names are John, Prakas, Jed, and Chris. Each of them are different in
their walks with God, but I have a burden for each of them. They are
in my life, and I have the privelege to show them Christ's love.
As for myself, you can pray for rest. In order to have a good quiet
time, I must sleep early the night before. Please pray that I will
rely on God's strength to fight against lust, b/c a lot of times I
will try myself. Please also pray that God will continue to reveal
Himself to me in new ways everyday.
Thanks for your prayers, Yi-feng. Please let me know how you are doing.
The God that we serve is a great God!
I love you!!! Please let me know how you are doing.
In Christ,
Michael (=
P.S. It is possible that I will return to Taiwan next summer!! But I
am not positive yet.
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